See, Trombley asked about shooting people. I asked about pussy. The guy told me I’d get to go to Thailand, get all kinds of strange. What’d you ask about, Brad? Brad probably saw that TV commercial, the one with the knight who fucks up the dragon then turns into the Marine. That fucking dress-blues commercial, man, that got so many fucking guys. Now look at us! Trombley hasn’t killed anybody, I am half a world away from good Thai pussy, and Colbert is out here rolling around Fuckbutt, Iraq, hunting for dragons in a MOPP suit that smells like four days of piss and ballsweat.

You should have rolled into battle with a sword, Brad. That would have fucking rocked.

(via andnowimhere)